neyronrose (neyronrose) wrote,
neyronrose
neyronrose

amazingly enough

Family actually kind of talked about it. Aunt A. has been in the hospital a couple of times very recently. She's going to have radiation soon, so presumably her biopsy results were not so good. I've been upset about it. Since she lives in northern New Jersey, we usually only see her at Christmas, at least for the last several years, but she sends me lots of e-mail forwards. I replied to one after her latest trip to the hospital, saying it was comforting to know that her longtime companion had been able to visit her regularly in the hospital -- Aunt P. said she ran into (we call her "Aunt") L. a couple of times there -- and that I was glad that Aunt L. was part of the family. Mom called Aunt A. tonight -- yes, she's Dad's aunt. Dad and I sent our love. Aunt A. said she was glad to get my e-mails, and that Aunt L. appreciated them, too. When I explained what my e-mail had said, Dad said, "Well, that marriage thing..."
"Do you mean gay marriage?" I asked.
"Someone said that if that passed..."
"In New Jersey, do you mean?"
"Yes. That then they'd feel like they were really part of the family."
It's highly unusual for Dad to express any hint of knowing what's going on with family dynamics. Nearly twenty years ago, when I said I was bisexual, he said, "It must run in the family."
"What? What?" I said. He just wandered off. It took me probably another ten years to figure it out. My brother J. was shocked when I said (some years ago) that I believed that Aunt A. was a lesbian. After he had some time to think about it, he probably accepted the idea. We just don't talk about it. I guess a lot of it's a generational thing. I don't know if it's something that Grandma S. and Papa C. just didn't want to talk about, or if it was just Aunt A. not talking about it. Aunt P. makes it clear that Aunt L. is part of the family. I've been trying to acknowledge that, and this is the first time I've gotten a hint that my acknowledgement is okay. I do hope we get to visit Aunt A. soon. It's her birthday in a few days -- I hate to think of her getting radiation on her birthday -- but I would just generally like to go up and see her.
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