I was online for a while, then did my morning routine. I sat under the sunlight-effect lamp for a while. I remembered where Mom and I had been in listening to The Land of Stories, so I picked up with that and read along at the same time for a few tracks. I was a little too restless for that and it's better listening on a CD player than the computer with the way the computer works for CDs, so I switched to Dr. Fell: The Boys of Fell and read that for a while. I read through Pink: Dolorosa.
When I got up from that, I found that Dad had put dirty sheets on top of my clean laundry. I was upset. He didn't understand why I felt that I needed to wash my laundry again. I can't do it today, because it's their laundry day, but I will do it.
I went outside for a little bit. It was cold. I took my pruning shears with me and had my leather gauntlets on, but I didn't end up pruning any of the roses. The deer seem to be doing it for me. It looks like that's what happened to 'Salet', since that's in a pot three feet off the ground. The pot is right near the back door, so the deer are coming right up to the house. I went out to the mahonia, which has prickly enough leaves that it doesn't seem to be getting eaten. I went far into the back yard, to the winter honeysuckle. Those plants only bloom for so long, so I'm trying to get out there to enjoy them while they last. The pink sweet violet has several flowers open.
Despite the special light, having plenty to read, and trying to enjoy the early spring flowers, I am depressed. We didn't even get that much snow this winter, and bad weather seems to contribute, so I'm not sure why I still feel this way. I crash in December or early January. This year it was early December. I was hoping I'd feel better by now, because generally by April or so I'm feeling good. It has been cold out, and I've been more-or-less broke for months. I have been paying the bills I get regularly a month ahead of time, so there's that. I felt a feeling of satisfaction from that when I started doing it, but I don't have that same feeling of satisfaction anymore.
I really don't know what else I can do to cheer myself up.