neyronrose (neyronrose) wrote,
neyronrose
neyronrose

Friday so far

I fell asleep -- or at least dozed off -- at 8:00 or 9:00 p.m. last night.  I got up a bit after midnight and finished up some editing.  I'm not sure when I went back to sleep, but it couldn't have been more than a couple of hours later.  I woke at 7:00 a.m.  The antibiotics had upset my stomach yesterday, though I kept them down.  That was two pills.  I took Maalox and Alka-Seltzer yesterday afternoon and night.

Shortly after I woke, I took an antibiotic pill with Kahlua and cream.  I figured that either the caffeine in the Kahlua would keep me awake or the liquor would put me back to sleep.  It was only a small amount of liquor compared to the amount of cream, and I didn't go back to sleep.  My stomach wasn't really too bad, either, so perhaps the cream helped.  Contrary to what I've posted over the last three days or so, I don't usually drink before noon.  If I do drink in the early afternoon, it's just the Kahlua, so the caffeine doesn't keep me up.  If I drink a glass of wine, it's usually around 9:00 or 10:00 p.m.  And usually it's a drink once a week, or once every two weeks.  That's why I don't really care about posting about it, because it's really pretty rare and might have mildly entertaining shock value.

RM (Racheline) spoke of a fic by Neaf.  I couldn't find the exact story, though I found one that was a Glee/Fight Club AU.  It was strange.  I haven't watched Fight Club or read the book.  Neaf writes Real Person stories, too, and I stayed away from them.  I've read some good fan fiction based off fiction of various types, but Real Person stories are not for me.  It was a fiction based on the show that RM was referring to, because it was something about Blaine.  I wish I'd found it.  My feeling is that it was quite possibly something about gender.  That's just a guess, though.

I'm quite aware I have cis-privilege, but I want to be an ally to people who are trans* and/or genderqueer.  I know enough to know that I'm still ignorant in some ways.  I'm not living it, but I'd like to be supportive.  I'm not engaging directly with Biyuti, but I'm taking some of their posts to heart, and recommending them.  There are a number of other people I am engaging with, because I'm not intimidated by them like I am with Biyuti.  Sometimes I'm intimidated by how well they write, but that's different.

Perhaps safer to go from something raw about gender and leave it as "you have allies" to look at the show.  The girls on Glee are hit with sexism.  Kurt is hit with sexism.  As I mentioned, it feels like the powers that be have read Homophobia: A Weapon of Sexism.  It all feels very deliberate on their parts, how Kurt queers gender.  It's every time he says something, because of that voice.  (Added later: When I play the CDs with his songs on them, Mom and S.M. are convinced that it's a woman singing.  I saw and heard the songs performed on the show first, so I have a mental picture.  I understand that the songs are recorded separately from the scenes, but I still picture the characters/actors.)  Sometimes it's the way Kurt mixes a piece of women's clothing into his layers of clothes.  There are any number of actions he's taken.  It's all so much that I wonder every episode what ways Kurt will queer gender this episode.

People who are better about gender than I am say that if you take away the heteronormative framework, Kurt has quite masculine body language, and he takes up space in a masculine way, as well.  Blaine, on the other hand, has effeminate body language.  If I'm understanding it right, he performs "boy" very well, but he's always performing, they say.  The impression I get is that Blaine queers gender more than he's supposed to.  Take away the casual homophobia of the high school, and you're still left with Blaine queering gender probably more than he feels himself that he's supposed to.  It would be disconcerting to identify heavily with.

More thoughts later...



Tags: glbt, rambling
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