My mood has been all over the place today. I made it to an appointment, and got some errands done, so that was good. It's the end of the month and I'm really, really broke, which bums me out. The snowdrops are blooming, the mahonia isn't yet, and the winter honeysuckle just has some buds so far.
I went to the GLBT meeting at [local university], thinking it was the cupcake decorating night, but instead it was the genderqueer night. I felt stupid being there being twice as old as everyone else. I try not to go to too many meetings, but I do want to say hello to my secret love child, and H. when she's there. Since I was there right when they were starting the movie, I couldn't just say hi to S. and duck out. The movie was "No Dumb Questions." It's about a six-year-old, nine-year-old and eleven-year-old (all girls) learning from their parents that Uncle Bill is becoming Aunt Barbara, and documents all their questions and reactions.
I couldn't watch parts of it, and was hiding my eyes. One cute bit was when the eleven-year-old was discussing the concept of lesbian, and asked the six-year-old if she knew what "gay" even meant. One meaning, Eleven explained, was happy. The other was when a man wanted to "get close" to another man. I looked back at S., and he was laughing hard.
The discussion afterward had L., the transman who's none too tightly wound, saying that people would "try" with pronouns wasn't enough, that they had to make every effort to get it right. In a way, L. is correct that "try" is a cop-out for some people, but it's something he's very sensitive about. Another young transman said that his twin sister refused to use male pronouns with him. I guess with L., he's very new to it all too, but expects everyone else will be politically correct towards him, and the other students try awfully hard, considering he was L.(girl name) and a lesbian last year.
Some of the kids said it was harder when it was someone in the family, because you'd known them one way for probably a long time, and it was an adjustment. In the film, Uncle Steve refused to come to the holiday celebration because he was upset about his brother becoming his sister. It happens that way a lot. One of the students quoted Piaget's developmental stages, and there were some other mentions of children's psychological development.
They talked about another film being made, Aunt Barbara and the kids five years later, but that it didn't have funding. The students were talking about how Six would remember it all, and I said, "Children really don't remember things before four or five, usually. I don't remember what happened yesterday." That got a bit of a laugh, though it's sadly true. I said something else about how younger children's notion of gender was necessarily that fixed.
J was pretty relaxed in saying that it was a tough concept for anyone to cope with. Ze made an incisive analysis. I'm always impressed by hir intelligence and ability to express hirself. J was very shy or reserved around me last year until he (at the time) got to know me. It wasn't just me, though. J's like that with everyone. Once J knows you, J's not shy about saying anything.
It was a work night at the secondhand bookstore, and I asked the students if anyone could come to help. Nada. S. said he had two papers to write. R. had to get to class. V. had three journal entries to do before her journal was due tomorrow. J said ze didn't have the time. They are busy students. The ones who know me would have come along with me if they had the time, I'm sure.
I went to the bookstore, and got there just as E.M. did. We emptied the Valentine's Day-themed books out of one of the front windows. I said I was going to McDonald's, and E. said she'd expected me to order Chinese food. I said that we certainly could. There wasn't a menu there at the store, so she ran down to get one. They're only a couple of stores down on the shopping strip. We split a large order of sweet and sour shrimp, which was quite tasty.
When we were finishing up dinner, L.F. got there. I worked on clearing the romance books off the back table, and putting them away. I had told E. that I'd go through my gardening books. I looked at them, and there weren't really any I wanted to give away. Maybe it was just today, but I didn't really see ones I wanted to part with. I'm missing two of my favorites now, so it's hard for me to want to give the gardening books away.
I called it a day after I'd worked for about an hour, not counting eating Chinese food. It had been a pretty busy afternoon and evening for me. Maybe I'll go back tomorrow afternoon with some books to donate. Not gardening books, but other books I'd already sorted through and bagged for donation.
I drove very slowly on certain roads on the way home. The other day, Mom had said, "Remember when we saw the eyes?" (The big glowing eyes by the side of the road.) "Today I saw a corpse there."
I felt the need to clarify. "You mean a deer corpse?" I think you'd just call that a carcass, but I suppose Mom was making her effect.
"Yes." I suppose someone didn't happen to see the big glowing eyes in time. They'll just jump right out onto the road, no warning. I was going about twenty miles an hour on that road. It was good to get home.
I have no idea why my mood was so up and down today. It was going from rain to drizzle and back all day, and very gray and cloudy, and I don't think that helped with the down times. I don't know. I saw nearly all the friends and acquaintances that I could have seen in a day around here. I'm not feeling bad now. Perhaps it's hormonal, too.
Well, it was a good day as far as getting out of the house and seeing people. I enjoy seeing the kids so much. They're so bright and curious, and some are so funny.