June 10th, 2012

Paul Neyron rose 2

rambling again

I'm looking at a book that has a very privileged white character.  It's a paranormal, he's a vampire.  He's still very privileged.  He treats people of color well, but he internally congratulates himself and other whites he knows for treating people of color well.  I was reading some of Biyuti's posts on race again to see what they said about colonialism and to help myself understand what was making me uneasy about that character's attitude towards race.  I did an explanation before, but now I feel like I can do a better explanation, that it was how much he was congratulating himself.  The Asian character in the book doesn't get patronized the way the black women do.  The parts of the book with the Asian character were looked over by someone who is Asian, and perhaps that had an effect.  That character has agency.

I have white privilege, and I've made some ignorant comments in my time, but I believe I've gotten better about that.  In the LGBT community, you get a lot of whites making pronouncements on race and on how people of color would feel about this or that.  I don't want to be a person who steps in and tries to speak for people of color when they're there to speak for themselves, because that's all kinds of insulting and wrong.  Presumably Panda got to speak for himself on those sections of the book that had a character with his ethnicity and race.  He would have told me if it had been otherwise.  While I can't speak from experience, I can point out sections where I feel that colonialism and patronization hit the black lesbian characters.  Perhaps I'll suggest having a queer woman of color look over those sections, since I fail in the C part of WoC.

What Biyuti said really helped me gain clarity on what was and wasn't working for me, and to some extent why.  I know that I'm not the intended audience for the blog, but Biyuti has said a number of things that I've gotten a lot out of.  I don't know how many times I've read those "Blaine and race" posts.  I can always find something interesting in them. 
Paul Neyron rose 2

Sunday -- Pride Fest

I went to the Philly Pride Fest. It was very hot out.

A few hours later: I wrote the above on my phone. Now that I'm back at a desktop, I'll expand on that.

I slept too late to make it to the parade, but decided that I'd still go to the Pride Fest. I drove to [Main Line town], and took the train to Market East. At Market East, I asked a cab driver if he could take me to Penn's Landing. He was very reluctant, but I said, "Within a few blocks of it." Another cab driver told the one I was talking to how he could go around the traffic mess caused by the parade.

I got my ride, and where I was dropped off I just needed to go down the block, cross the road, and go up a set of stairs to get to Penn's Landing. I tipped the taxi driver well.

There was quite a line to get in to the Pride Fest, but I had my bottle of water and put on a white baseball cap with a rainbow design so the sun wasn't beating directly on my head. I had put sunscreen on before I left.

The line moved quickly enough. I got in and wandered around. I didn't see any book vendors. There were a number of mainstream businesses offering their wares at various stalls. I got a frozen lemonade and a funnel cake. It was around the time that I was eating the funnel cake that I sort of relaxed and gave myself credit for getting from my home to Penn's Landing traveling on my own.

There were some stalls offering rainbow accessories. I got another pair of rainbow earrings and a silk rose in rainbow colors. I had worn a pair of bi pride earrings -- blue, purple, and pink -- but I think they're too subtle for anyone to notice.

I didn't spend a very long time there. I followed some people on their way out, and over the bridge. I saw cabs coming towards Penn's Landing, and buses, so I figured if I went down a couple of blocks I'd find a cab. I got to Chestnut and First(?) and decided to walk towards where the numbers were bigger. I got to Walnut Street and passed the City Tavern in my journeys. I passed a movie theater where they show independent movies, and got a cab down that block.

The cab driver went back across Chestnut to Market to get to Market East, so going on Walnut wouldn't have been terribly helpful. I figured I could get to Eleventh or Twelfth Street and cut across the "tree" streets until I found Pine or Spruce, and then go from there. I was hoping to get a cab well before that though, so I considered myself lucky.

I got to the train station just in time to get the train I wanted. The trains on that line run on the hour on Sundays. I got back to the house around six. I didn't get too sunburned, and I didn't get heatstroke, so I figured I'd done well. Having a bottle of water with me helped. I thought it had just been me thinking it was very hot, but apparently it got up to 94 degrees F, so it wasn't just me.

I've been there with a group, or with a couple of other people, and that's more fun, but I was glad I went.

After I got home, I went back out of the house just long enough to look at "Odee Pink", which has another flower in bud, and to go over to 'Maiden's Blush' and enjoy the fragrance of that.

So that was my taste of GLBT community for the year. Well, next time I get together with my secret love child, whenever that is, I'll have a sense of community.