March 31st, 2012

Paul Neyron rose 2

reading more

I'm fascinated with Larkin's discussion with Biyuti (http://biyuti.wordpress.com/2012/02/24/blaines-gender-identity-andor-expression/#comments).  I'm trying to understand what "bakla" means, too.  If I'm getting it, it's got to do with gender and sexuality, and is in at least some ways considered a third gender in Filipin@ culture.  I think it's that in the traditional way of it, male-bodied people who are attracted to men wear women's clothes and take on some of women's roles in society.  I am probably making a complete hash of explaining my limited understanding of it, with my Western worldview.  It may not be the most privileged place in society, but it's an accepted way of life.

Switching to the Western, on Glee, Kurt wears pieces of feminine clothing mixed in with masculine dress on a fairly regular basis.  He also says and does gender non-conforming things with relative frequency.  When I play songs on Glee CDs, both my Mom and S.M. say that he sounds like a woman.  S.M. was a music teacher for many years.  While one song was playing, I asked her if it would be considered sung in a soprano or alto.  She said it had to be a tenor, because that was the male voice.  "Maybe a bari-tenor," she said.  But without visual reference, they think it's a woman's voice.

There was some discussion of body language between Biyuti and Larkin.  Biyuti believes that Kurt's body language is pretty masculine -- in a non-heteronormative way.  Blaine's body language is sometimes more femme.  Blaine's never been seen wearing anything but masculine clothes, though.  Kurt strikes me as an effeminate boy, though he seems to identify as male.  RM (Racheline Maltese) has some very interesting things to say about gender for the two of them.  Blaine is apparently supposed to be more straight-appearing, and in some ways he is.  I think the suggestions that he might be more genderfluid than Kurt are quite interesting. 



Paul Neyron rose 2

Saturday so far

We're on our way to northwest New Jersey to go to the memorial service for Grandma S.

The service: I was touched by the parts in which Grandma S.'s family and friends talked about their memories. I'd never seen Uncle D. choked up, or Uncle P.'s wife, Aunt P. Initials get weird because all Grandma S.'s children were called by names starting with P. when they were growing up, and only Dad changed that, to using his first name rather than his middle name. So with Uncle P.'s marriage, I have three Aunt Ps. Even Dad was choked up as he thanked people for coming.

My brother and all my cousins on that side of the family were there. So it was me (E.), J., R., P., J.W., T., and J.T. R.'s husband N. was there, and the baby, J., and J.'s wife K. We got pictures of all the cousins together but some of my cousins were making silly faces. We got pictures of all Grandma S.'s grandchildren and the in-laws and the baby, and it grew until we got all her children and daughters- and sons-in-laws in the picture, too. She would have liked pictures like that. She kept a lot of family pictures around.

J. spoke about how he gave Grandma S. a marigold in a styrofoam cup when he was little, and she grew it so it multiplied greatly, and showed him each summer. Then he went into a family/garden metaphor, but I was glad he'd spoken. I said to Aunt P.T. that I remembered Grandma S. saying that when she saw a snowdrop, the winter was finally ending. "There was just one snowdrop under the hedge at [old house]," Aunt P. said, "and that was the one she saw."

"She told me that," I said.