neyronrose (neyronrose) wrote,

Tuesday real life

The nurse, L., said she'd come between two and three, and texted me at three-thirty to say she was on her way from a town at least half an hour away.  I think she got to the house around four or a little after.  She was much more mellow this time.  I think she felt a little sorry that we'd ended things on such a bad note, with really some hostility on her part, and she had been concerned enough about me afterwards that she called my primary care doctor.

L. realized now that my mental state had been very bad.  I explained about the family situation.  I told her the primary care doctor had said that I needed to get my blood sugars under control, then followed with, "Do you want to walk again?"

I said to the nurse, as I'd said to Mom, that that was fear-mongering on the doctor's part.  "I will walk again," I said.  "I might have a limp, but I will walk again."

L. was surprised, because the doctor had seemed so sweet when she talked to her.  Somewhere during the conversation, the nurse said to me, "You will walk again.  You might even walk without a limp.  You're young enough that you have a good chance of it healing completely."  I had thought so, but it was good to hear it from a healthcare person.

L. sold me a pill box that she'd gotten from Wal-Mart.  It's pretty big, meant for a week, with spaces for morning, lunchtime, dinner and bedtime meds for each day.  I figured it couldn't hurt to have it.

Generally she was much nicer this time.  I was prepared for a ton more stress from her, and it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be.  I think she was pretty determined to leave on a better note this time, and she did.

I've lost weight.  Mom got my clothes Sunday.  Usually she gives me the chance to say what I want.  This time, she just brought in a T-shirt that had been pretty tight, and size 14 jean shorts, which had been tight enough that it was pretty hard to get into them.  The T-shirt was noticeably looser across my chest, and the shorts were considerably easier to do up than they were a few weeks ago.  So I seem to have lost a size.  The nurse was really pleased to hear that, and said that I possibly might have lost ten pounds, then.  I thought that it probably explained part of why I'd been in that funk, because I was kept so hungry that I actually lost that much weight.  Considering I could hardly move for a good while there, I've been that much more sedentary than usual, so apparently it was mostly diet.  I guess that's a bit of what makes it easier to use my arms to lift myself with.

I'm still drinking lots of green tea.  I tried Emerald Sun with brunch.  It has a chrysanthemum flower in the middle.  Mom's allergic to chysanthemums, and I'm allergic to some other plants in the Compositae family, so I kept Benadryl around.  No problems from it, though, and it was a pretty nice green tea.  I got a couple of packages today with more little boxes of tea.  I was entertained by it enough to follow up, and get more of the kinds I liked, and try some new-to-me ones.  So I tried Shooting Star, which looked like a cool one.  The amaranth flowers are supposed to float free, along with a spray of osmanthus petals.  I poured the water in, and the tea flower started opening very slowly.  I poked at it with a teaspoon to see if I could help it along.  It looked sort of freaky as it opened up, but then I saw how the amaranth flowers were tied to the tea flower, and the final effect was pretty cool.

Mom said I shouldn't drink that much tea -- it turned out to be four cups total today -- and especially not at dinnertime.  "It's green tea," I said.  "It's not like it has that much caffeine.  Besides, I don't sleep at night anyway."  She couldn't really argue with the last statement.  I'll keep it down to two cups tomorrow, but I indulged my love for trying new edibles today.

Tags: medical, rambling

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