neyronrose (neyronrose) wrote,

Sunday so far

I worked on a couple of editing jobs late last night.  Dad had gone to a veterans' event in Washington, D.C, and had estimated that he'd come home at midnight.  I was getting a little concerned, but I'd just turned out the light and settled down to get to sleep when he came home at 1:30 a.m.  Of course he stopped in the kitchen for a while.  It was rather an interesting sociological thing.  When he thought I was asleep, he was trying to be very quiet, but when I asked what he was doing, he said, "Getting a snack."  From that point on, his meal became an interactive thing, with him making lip-smacking noises and little sighs of satisfaction with the food and drink.  It's like he's from one of the cultures where making loud bodily noises of any variety is considered a sign of enjoying your meal.  I put my iPod on, he eventually went upstairs, and I must have dozed off at some point.

My brother J. called at 11:15 a.m. or so and woke me up.  I told him I'd call back in five minutes, and hopped off to go brush my teeth and so on.  When I called back, we discussed my mental state some, and how I felt like I was a burden.  He said Mom was upset that I felt she'd be better off if I wasn't around.  The actual question I answered was whether I thought that the people around me would be better off if I was dead.  By any rational consideration, they would be.  However, despite all the negative things Mom says, she apparently still has quite the emotional attachment to me.  She cried today about how I was so convinced about her being better off without me.  There's nothing rational about that.

I got upstairs to take a shower and wash my hair.  I'm stronger now, and pulled myself up the stairs with only a couple of seconds of a pause near the top of the stairs.  I held my bad leg up some, but it bumped a bit.  I pulled myself up on the shower stool, then got up on my walker so they could put the shower stool in the tub and I could walk into the bathroom.  I got down onto the shower stool without too much trouble.  We wrapped my casted leg in plastic, and I hung it out of the tub to take my shower.  It felt really good to wash my own hair.  As much as I also like having it washed, it was lovely to be able to do it myself.

Getting out of the tub is more tricky, because you're slippery at that point.  I pushed myself up using the edge of the bathtub, and was surprised that I pretty much got myself up to a standing position by doing that.  My arms are considerably stronger than they were.  Mom had happened to pick out a T-shirt that had been pretty tight on me, and a pair of jean shorts that had a zipper, and had also been tight.  They were both quite noticeably looser on me.  It was a lot easier to get the shorts zipped than it was a few weeks ago.  Despite my relative immobility, I've lost weight.  Not only was I sedentary to start with, but I'm eating a lot less junk food than I was.

Tags: medical, rambling

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