"Yes, that you're my secret love child."
He nodded. We chatted a bit. He said he had a guy he was thinking of getting into a relationship with. "He was having trouble driving because he was busy trying to light a bowl. Is that a signal to me?"
H. and I immediately said, "That's a signal." I don't know where he finds them. The ones I've heard about have been a drug dealer now in jail, the recent one who threatened people with a crowbar, and now this potential love interest. S. was raised Quaker. He says he's never had the desire to hit anybody. Nevertheless, he seems to be drawn to the law-breaking type.
H. and I both said that we couldn't be hypocritical about dating stoners. J5 was quite the stoner, but at least he never tried to smoke a bowl while he was driving -- that I knew about, anyway. He was more one for joints and bongs anyway, and smoked regular cigarettes when he was driving. Regardless, I need to talk to S. again about "good interesting" versus "bad interesting." He thinks that young men who are just concerned with doing well in class and studying are boring. I don't think my secret love child could ever be boring. An intellectual Quaker boy who goes for rough trade -- I find it fascinating to try to figure out where his mind is with that. "Maybe it's an 'opposites attract' kind of thing," he said.
I think I said something like, "You can have guys who are a little rough around the edges but still have sense." Perhaps I should have said, "...but aren't criminals." I should tell him that maybe the preppy guys have hidden depths, but I don't think I could say it convincingly.